if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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