I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize