Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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