Where is the hickey?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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