By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize