That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize