Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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