Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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