how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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