Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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