He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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