mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Naked. naked and bneed help.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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