i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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