Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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