I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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