im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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