It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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