I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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