he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I know her cup size but not her name....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize