Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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