My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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