Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize