I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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