exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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