Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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