My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize