dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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