I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize