i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sober January is a disaster.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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