Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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