She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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