What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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