i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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