foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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