I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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