i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize