Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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