im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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