True but thats because hes a fetus.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize