That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize