Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have aggressive nipples.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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