i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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