I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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