I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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