Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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