Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize