She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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