Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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