No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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