Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize