I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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